Decisions
by Kurenai Sakeme
Summary: Decisions. Everyone makes them, but given the choice between your own two worlds, which would you choose? There is no turning back after the point of no return. That was rather dramatic for the fic. R&R, please.


Disclaimer: I don't own Inu-Yasha.

Authoress Note: Hey, this idea came to me when I was watching an Inu-Yasha movie…it might be a disgustingly common idea on but I thought it might be worth a try. This is my first Inu-Yasha fic, so reviewers, do your thing!

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Decisions_By: Kurenai Sakeme_

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Dear Diary,

Is it really over? Today, we found the last remaining jewel shard. The jewel is finally whole again, and the purification process should not take as long as Kikyo's first attempt did.

The only thing of concern to me is what I'm going to do now that the jewel is back together. Will I return to my own time? Or stay here? Something inside me tells me that I must choose one or the other. For the past four years, I've led two lives. One here, in the feudal era, and the other in the 20th century. But now that the jewel is restored I don't think that I'll be able to time-travel between the eras anymore.

But whatever path I choose, I will lose a part of me. Staying here, I sacrifice my family, friends, and possible future career for what? Life here, with Inu-Yasha as a feudal era priestess? Without modern technology, food, or conveniences? What are the perks of remaining here?

Well, clearly Inu-Yasha….

But not just him, I'll have Sango, and Miroku, and Shippo, and Kaede along with Inu-Yasha. But still, I'll lose the others I care about; those back in the 20th century.

I know that the choice will soon be mine to make. I am nearing the end of high school, and my 18th birthday is in four days. Then, I will be a legal adult, and my parents won't be able to command me to remain with them as I know they would if I were younger.

But for now, I think I'm going to concentrate on ridding the Shikon jewel of the remaining demon energy within it. After that, Kaede and I will decide what is to be done with it. Maybe Inu-Yasha will even decide to become a human, as he once resolved to do. Well, that is_ a bit of a long shot. _

Until next time,

Kagome.

With a sigh, Kagome Higurashi closed the small book she had been writing in and held it to her chest, closing her eyes for a moment to clear her head. Naraku, the one who had plagued her and all of her friends for years, seemed to be dead. After an epic battle about a year ago, he was defeated.

His death brought many changes. Miroku's wind tunnel disappeared, ending the terrible family curse, and Sango's brother, Kohaku, was freed from Naraku's control. Sango still struggled with him, trying to make him remember all that Naraku had made him forget, but more and more often he called Sango, 'sister.'

With utmost care, they had managed to remove the jewel shard that had kept him alive for years, and thus completed the once shattered Shikon jewel. Amazingly, Kagome managed to use the power of the completed jewel to save him after they removed it.

Even though things seemed to be coming together for her friends, Kagome was still stressed over her fate. Where did she belong? Where was she needed the most? She knew that she would be missed in either era, and loved in either one too. In both she had a home and people who cared about her, but which meant more to her? Such questions seemed almost traitorous to both sides of Kagome's life.

Standing, the girl slung her backpack around to the front and unzipped a small side pocket, slipped her journal inside and slung it back around. She took one final look around. Behind her was the well she had so often used to travel between the worlds, and all around her was the familiar forestland. She started to walk back toward the village, deciding to seek the counsel of Kaede, the village priestess. Maybe she could shed some light on the delicate situation that faced the seventeen year-old girl.

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Dear Diary,

Well, I've made up my mind. I'm going to leave the feudal era behind forever and stay in the 20th century, where I belong.

I was, after all, born and raised there. It's only because of the fact that I'm an incarnation of the priestess Kikyo that I even ever stumbled on this world in the first place. Maybe I was meant to be here, at one time, to save Inu-Yasha and restore the jewel, but now my mission is completed. I have no place here anymore.

Obviously, Mom and Dad are relieved about my decision. Ever since I dropped a hint on my birthday that it might be my last with them, they've been walking on eggshells to try and convince me to stay with them.

Graduation was a few days ago, and I passed my entrance exam to my first-choice college. It's kind of amazing, considering all of the school I missed. But I worked hard to make it all up. My acceptance letter came yesterday, and Mom was thrilled. I cant just throw all of that away, I can really do something with myself and be normal again.

You know, it's kind of funny. Three years ago, all I wanted was to be normal again. I guess that's before I realized I really did have a place here. But that place expired the day that the purification of the jewel was completed. Now, I'm just a temporary and unnatural fixture.

A few times before, Kikyo told me that I was not supposed to be in this world at all. I think she was right about that, even though I suppose I have_ done some good here. _

Even though this rather…odd chapter in my life is coming to a close, I think that the future will be bright for all of us, my friends and me both here and in the 20th century. Every student in my high school class graduated and is going to college somewhere, and everyone here seems to have resolved old conflicts and moved on.

Everyone, that is, except Inu-Yasha. He took the news of my departure the hardest, and struck the loudest and most painful chord in my heart. He looked so depressed, and has been acting so odd, I think he was really hurt by my decision. Maybe I should go and talk to him, but I think he wants to be left alone.

Although I do love Inu-Yasha with all my heart, I think it's best that we go our own separate ways. We were never meant to be. We were born in two different time periods, two different worlds. Even his relationship with Kikyo was destined to not work out. I don't think he's meant to be successful with any form of me. But who knows, there are plenty of eligible bachelorettes in this era. Maybe some other girl will be more lucky.

I will miss Inu-Yasha and the others with my entire being. Every little thing about each of them will be missed, good and bad. And this beautiful time period will be a loss, too. The great forests and magnificent trees, all of them hold their own special place in my memory. And soon, they will be only that. Fond memories.

I told everyone that tomorrow I am going down the well and back home for the last time. I don't think I'll ever return, or even be able to return. Lately, my trips through the well have been slower than usual, and I think the well is shutting down my passageway.

Until next time,

Kagome.

* * *

The day was sunny and clear, in strong contradiction to the mood in the clearing where the well between the worlds stood. Everyone was somber, and some were even teary. Gathered in the clearing were Miroku, Inu-Yasha, Kaede, Shippo, Sango, Kirara, Kohaku, and even Myoga the flea.

"I'm going to miss you all," Kagome said softly, sitting on the edge of the wooden well. Sango stepped forward.

"Take care, Kagome. You've been a good friend to all of us, I think." Sango stepped forward and hugged Kagome, pulling away with a single tear.

The others followed suit, Miroku, Shippo, Kaede, and Kohaku gave their goodbyes and hugs, moving in slow motion, as though they were underwater. Even Kirara went over to Kagome and nuzzled her leg with a sad whine.

Myoga hopped onto her shoulder and said goodbye before heading off someplace else, and then only Inu-Yasha had not said goodbye.

Kagome looked over to him. He was seated up against a tree, a scowl planted firmly on his face as he stared off in another direction.

"Well," she said, "I guess this is goodbye, Inu-Yasha."

"Yeah, whatever." he replied gruffly, sparing her a quick glance.

"Well, is that it?" Kagome asked, her voice cracking. She had promised herself she wouldn't cry…but oops. So much for that.

It was like someone had turned on the faucet full blast. Kagome launched herself from her perch on the well and into Inu-Yasha, all-out sobbing. Inu-Yasha looked surprised, but put a comforting arm around her anyway. The others looked on in silence, waiting to see what would happen next.

They just sat like that for a moment or two before Inu-Yasha tried to get her to stop crying by talking to her, reminding her that she has wanted to remain in the future, and that if she wanted it enough nothing else should matter. But Kagome didn't see it like it was that simple. Eventually, she ran out of tears and detached herself from her friend, murmuring her final, teary goodbye.

_I should say something,_ she thought as she walked away toward the well_. I should go and say something romantic like they do on those crappy daytime soap operas._ But as her numb legs carried her stiffly to the wooden gateway to the 20th century, she realized that no soap opera had a fitting line for a situation like this. She turned her back to the well for a moment, sweeping her red eyes over the small, silent crowd. Hergaze rested on Inu-Yasha.

"Goodbye."

And with that, she tumbled backwards down the well.

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Dear Diary,

It's been three days, ten hours, and forty-seven minutes since I arrived back home. Mom and Sota were waiting for me _at the mouth of the well when I emerged for what will be the last time. Mom wiped my tears away and led me to my room, telling me that I would be all right and that I had made the right decision. _

But did I?

My friends have called several times trying to get me to come out and go somewhere with them. I thought that as soon as I left for good, I would be a normal girl again. But apparently I was wrong about that. I feel really depressed and tired, like I'll never be happy again. And all I can think of is Inu-Yasha. The way he held me right before I left, the almost undetectable tenderness in his sweet voice as he tried to comfort me…

I'm so confused! If this is what I wanted, then why does it feel so bad?

Maybe I was wrong. Maybe I belong in the feudal era despite my birthplace.

Or maybe I was right, and this depression will pass with time. Maybe soon I'll forget about old Inu-Yasha and start living again.

But I don't want to forget!

Until next time,

Kagome.

* * *

Dear Diary, 

Here and now, on the fourth day since I left, I know what I really want to do.

I'm going back.

Mom doesn't know, and won't until after I'm gone. My heart longs for the touch of Inu-Yasha again, and I now know that something I have suspected for a long time is true.

I am in love with Inu-Yasha.

Even if he is not in love with me, I need him to be close. Just to know that there is a way I can find him will bring me peace. Mom and Dad and Grandpa and Sota will be sad that I'm leaving them, but they always taught me through bedtime stories and true marriage tales that true love should come first.

And try as I might to deny it, I am truly in love with that insensitive jerk we like to call Inu-Yasha.

No turning back now.

Until next time,

Kagome.

* * *

Dear Diary, 

Dressed in traditional miko robes, a teenage girl crossed the courtyard of the shrine she lived in. Her soft tatami sandals made no sound on the cobbled stone beneath herfeet as she opened the wooden door to a small shrine and stepped down closer to the well in the middle, the Bone Eater's Well.

She shrugged her backpack on and positioned herself on the edge of the well, taking a deep breath before letting herself drop to the bottom.

_Please work…_ she silently prayed. She kept her eyes closed until she felt herself fall rather painfully on the hard, dry bottom of the well.

"No…" she breathed, a tear welling up in her eye. "No! You have to work! Just once more…" her tear fell and hit the cold dirt that she sat on. She began to cry bitterly, her shoulders shaking with sobs of defeat.

But then somethimg remarkable happened. Her sandaled foot slowly started to sink into the ground with a slight glow, and soon her knees began to sink too. Her face brightened and the sobs stopped. Soon, she was slipping slowly through the gateway to the feudal era that she had used so many times before.

Though she moved agonizingly slowly, she was soon back in the feudal era, the place she knew was and always had been her home.

"I knew you'd be back."

That voice! So cold and haughty and commanding and WONDERFUL! Kagome stepped out of the well and into the arms of the red-robed Inu-Yasha, who met her with a hug and soon swept her into a kiss.

When they pulled apart, Kagome buried her face in his chest and breathed in deeply, inhaling his scent for the first time in what seemed like years.

"I love, you, Inu-Yasha."

His voice caught in his throat, but the dog-demon managed to choke back, "I love you too, Kagome."

"Oh, Inu-Yasha!"

"Actually, Kagome." Inu-Yasha replied, tilting her head back away from his chest. "I think I have to tell you that Kikyo is a much better kisser."

"SIT!"

"Ehheh…"

"All I ask for is ONE heartfelt reunion, and you go and say something like THAT! Well, I oughta…"

In the bushes, Shippo, Sango, and Miroku covered their mouths with their hands and choked back peals of hysterical laughter.

"Looks like Inu-Yasha was right, after all." commented Sango.

"Yep, and it looks like things haven't changed a bit." Shippo added.

"Well you know Sango…" Miroku said, "Since everyone is currently enjoying a heartfelt moment, why don't you and I go and--"

SMACK!

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_Dear Diary,_

_This is the last page in my final journal. Before I left the 20th century, I packed several empty little books. But now that they're all gone, I don't think that I'll try and continue a journal on rice paper like Sango suggested. I think I should just let this part of my life go._

_In this closing entry, I'd like to sum up the path three years' events._

_Kaede, the previous village priestess who helped me and Inu-Yasha during our search for the jewel shards, passed away last winter, leaving me as her successor. The villagershave taken a liking to calling me Kikyo and refuse to stop._

_Inu-Yasha and I have a beautiful baby girl. Her name is Mekare, and she is six months old. Even though Miroku and Sango have not yet had any children, they are living happily together in the countryside. Sango still keeps a small job as an exterminator, and Miroku is still a pervert. Some things will never change._

_The clay-pot Kikyo appears every so often. It's hard to tell what she thinks of me and Inu-Yasha, but neither of us would care either way. We are very much in love, though I think a small part of his heart will always belong to her. Mom once told me that you never completely fall out of love with someone, but others can take away a lot of your pain and replace most of that space in your heart once occupied by a lost love. I think I, for the most part, replaced poor Kikyo._

_On the night I left my other world behind for good, I left a note for my family. Below is a copy to the best of my memory._

_"Mom, Dad, Grandpa, and Sota,_

_I know you all wanted me to stay, and I will miss you all terribly, but my heart is in the feudal era. I know that sounded cheesy, but trust me. It's where I belong. I know that I'm going to miss you and that I'm sacrificing a lot for this...an entire life...but it's to return to another life I've led for four years. I will think of you all every day, and please never forget me, either._

_Love,_

_Kagome, XOXO."_

_Maybe I'll find a way for my family to get this journal, so that they can know that I'm safe. If I ever do, I want all of you to know that Inu-Yasha and I are happy and content, and that we hardly ever fight anymore. Besides minor demon attacks andfeudal territory invasions, there is no fighting necessary, and neither of us seem to mind, surprisingly. I never thought that Inu-Yasha would really want to stay put and raise a child with me, but he loves Mekare and I with all his heart._

_I guess this is the end. If this ever does make it to my family, I miss you and hope that you forgive me. But sometimes ignoring your true feelings can be more disastrous than faking them. And when you don't ignore them, letting them alone and trying to forget them will kill you, eventually. So I did what I had to, and I have no regrets. _

_With the closing of this book, I know that a chapter in my life is ending, but I also know that there is a new one looming on a bright horizon. _

_Love,_

_Kagome._

_

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Well, right now it's 2:04 A.M., so I'm going to stop. This will probably stay a one-shot, though a two-shot is possible if the reviewers want it. If there is a next chapter, it'd be about the daughter, probably. If this was the most terrible, horrible fic you've ever read, say it. If it's not half bad, say it. Say anything you like, just please review!


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